Ask The gang
by Ramirez Wolfen
Summary: Yup, it's back. And I still don't own Star Fox.
1. Chapter 1

**Ask the Gang**

Ramirez Wolfen Today, I rounded up everybody from Star Fox and got them here for this questionnaire.

AllWhat?!

Falco I thought you said this was a Barney movie!

Fox: …..

Katt: Homo.

The Rest: Weird.

Ramirez Wolfen: Um, okay. Let's get started. Also send me your questions and I will ask them for you. So let's get my questions set up.

Ramirez Wolfen's Questions

**To Fox**: How come you won't tell Krystal you like her?

Fox: Uh, what do you mean by "like"?

Ramirez Wolfen: I mean love, you gutless animal!

Fox: (cries) did you have to say gutless?

Ramirez Wolfen: YES!

**To Leon**: Are you gay?

Leon: I have no comment.

Falco: Freaking weirdo.

Leon: Annoying bird, I am the great-

Wolf: Don't even say it.

Slippy: I'm hungry…

**To Slippy**: Why do you suck?

Slippy: I DON"T SUCK! But I do feel hungry…

Panther: Panther think froggie is a fatty.

**To Panther**: Why do you talk in third person?

Panther: Panther don't know why, just do.

Falco: I think he was dropped on his head when he was a baby.

Panther: Panther no baby. You hear Panther, stupid chicken? (grabs Falco and shakes him) PANTHER NO BABY! PANTHER NO BABY!!!! ( foams at the mouth)

Falco: WTH(What The Heck)!?

Ramirez Wolfen: Security!!

(Security comes and beats Panther with their baguettes)

Fox: Why did they use baguettes?

Ramirez Wolfen: Did I Tell you we are in Paris, France?

Slippy: Can I have some Filet Mignon?

All: Fatty froggie.

Ramirez Wolfen: Well that's it. I didn't ask that many questions because you might think of it later. Don't forget to send me questions!


	2. Chapter 2: Star Wolf

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Ramirez Wolfen**: **Hello! I'm back!

Falco**:** Boo!

Ramirez**: **(pimp slaps Falco) Shut up!

Falco: Ow.

Leon: Ha-ha, the annoying bird is a big baby.

Panther: Panther heard somebody say baby.

Everyone: Oh God.

Ramirez: Okay enough it's time to get to the point.

Mike's Questions

**To Fox**: How come you and Wolf hate each other?

Fox: Uh, I dunno. Just do I guess.

Wolf: Because he's a loser.

Ramirez: Wolf when did you get here?

Wolf: Just now and don't ask me any more questions, got it, pup?

Ramirez: Whatever.

Peppy: Next question.

**To Falco**: Did you know you are my favorite character?

Leon: Did you know no one cares?

Falco: Lizard boy I'm gonna shut you up. (starts duking it out with Leon)

Ramirez: Security!

(Security comes and beats Leon and Falco with phonebooks)

Panther: Ha-ha! Panther love stupid bird and reptile get beat down by security!

Wolf: For once Panther shut the heck up.

Panther: Panther is very hurt wolf man. You say sorry now.

Wolf: How about… SCREW YOU!!

Panther: WHAT!!

Ramirez: Okay, moving on--

Panther: (pushes Ramirez out of way) What you say to Panther? Panther didn't quite hear that.

Ramirez: Moving on once again…

**To Leon**: Are you stupid?

Leon: Yo Momma didn't seem to care last night.

Ramirez: Leon, you take that back!

Leon: No.

Ramirez: (punches Leon) You moron!

Leon: (knocked out)

Wolf: Panther, stop talking in third person!

Panther: Panther don't take orders from you.

Wolf: What?

Panther: Panther think you love fatty froggie!

(Wolf and Panther keeps arguing)

Ramirez: Unfortunately (thanks to the numbskulls of Star Wolf), We are out of time. Bye!

Everybody except Panther and Wolf: Goodbye!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Ramirez: Welcome back to another day of craziness!

All: Yay!

Ramirez: First up, starfoxluver

Starfoxluver

**To Fox**: When are you Krystal going to get married?

Fox: Um…

Krystal: When he stops thinking about having sex with me and see me for who I really am

Falco: A British-accented girl who's kind of annoying?

Krystal: (punches Falco)

Falco: (knocked out)

Ramirez: (sigh) Okay next question

JyrFalcon345

**To Fox**: How is it that you as a collective have been able to plow through entire fleets of enemy ships with no outside help? in almost every game I've played, the mercenary is not 'sent in' alone for the final task until the final mission.

Fox: Cause I'm the greatest. That's all there is to it.

Wolf: The greatest at being gay.

Fox: Shut up! There's nothing wrong with looking at Queer Eye for the Gay Guy!

All: What the…

Ramirez: moving on…

**To Krystal:** Do you ever get the feeling that you've been reduced to a mere sexual object on the team?

Krystal: NO!! Do you feel like you need to shut the heck up, fuzz bag?

Slippy: Wow that was harsh.

Ramirez: Slippy you haven't said anything since chapter one!

Slippy: I was at Burger King.

Peppy: You were at Burger King?!

Ramirez: How did you even get out? There is no doors in the room.

Fox: You're telling me we can't leave? Why?

Ramirez: Because I want to.

Fox: ??

Panther: Do not disrespect Panther, stupid wolf.

Wolf: Shut up you big wussy.

Ramirez: Oh my f god, you guys are still arguing?!

Gen. Pepper: Holy mackerel, I'm alive!

Ramirez: General, get your old crusty butt out of here!

Gen. Pepper: (leaves)

Fox: Wait a second how'd he leave?!

Ramirez: 'Cause I let him

James McCloud: Hello Everyone.

Ramirez: You're dead

James: No I'm not.

Ramirez: Yes you are

Fox: DAD?

James: SON?

Ramirez: GET THE HELL OUT YOU ARE DEAD AND YOU KNOW IT!!

James: (leaves)

Ramirez: sorry for the language and outburst, people. I am in a crap mood today.

Krystal: Anymore questions?

Ramirez: Nope now let's say goodbye everybody

All (except Panther and Wolf again): Bye!

Ramirez: P.S. send me more questions! This wasn't that funny so I will try harder.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Ramirez: Hey, I'm back!

Falco: So?

Slippy: YAY!!

Leon: Boo!

Ramirez: (punches Falco and Leon and gives Slippy a donut)

Leon and Falco: OW!!

Slippy: DOUBLE YAY!!

Ramirez: Okay let's get started.

Starfoxluver's Question

**To Krystal: **Has there been a time you wish Fox and Panther would stop competing for you (So Panther can find a sexier woman) ?

Krystal: Yes. And there is no one sexier than me so I have to deal with it.

Panther: Hey Krystal wanna go out on a date with Panther?

Ramirez: You finally stopped arguing with Wolf, Panther?

Panther: Yes.

Krystal: OF COURSE NOT!!

Ramirez: That's harsh.

Krystal: Yes it was.

Ramirez: Moving on… to My Questions!!

Ramirez's Questions

**To Wolf: **Did you know I'm your cousin?

Wolf: Did you know no one cares?

Ramirez: No, not really.

Wolf: Now you know.

**To Katt: **Do you like Falco?

Katt: Do you like having no teeth and scratches on your face?

Ramirez: No.

Katt: Then don't ask, fuzz face.

Falco: But you didn't answer his question. Do you like me?

Katt: (Scratches Falco)

Falco: Ow!!

Panther: HA-HA!! Panther love such violence! It makes Panther laugh! (rolls on ground laughing and foaming at the mouth)

Ramirez: You need to calm down.

Krystal: This is why I'm rejecting you, Panther.

Fox: What a nutcase.

Wolf: I wonder why I let you join Star Wolf…

Ramirez: I wonder that too…

Wolf: You questioning my choices, punk? (stands over Ramirez threateningly)

Ramirez: (in nervous sweat) Uh, no.

Wolf: Better not be.

Slippy: I want another donut!

Panther: Fatty froggie!

Peppy: Wow Panther you haven't said that in a while.

Fox: Peppy you're still here?

Peppy: Yup.

Ramirez: Sorry we're out of time. Send more questions!.


	5. Chapter 5: More Gay jokes

Ramirez: Hey, I'm back!

Falco: And someone's actually supposed to care WHY now?

Ramirez: Because this fan fiction is pretty popular on . We have fourteen reviews.

Leon: So? I've seen one with seventy-four reviews.

Ramirez: Because it's been out longer!

Peppy: That's a good point.

Leon: Oh, shush you carrot-eating fart.

Peppy: At least I don't touch myself at night.

All: WTH!?

Falco: What?

Fox: Sicko…

Wolf: You are DEFINITELY off my team now, Leon.

Ramirez: We're getting carried away now. Let's get to the questions.

Krystal: Yes, let's.

Teros' Question

**Question for Everyone**: Do you like pie?

Slippy: YES I LOVE PIE WHERE IS IT?!

Fox: WTH?

Krystal: Yes. I like blueberry.

Falco: So that explains your color. You look like a sexy blueberry.

Panther: Panther think pie is for big babies like fatty froggie and fag-bird.

Slippy: (cries)

Falco: Whatever hairball.

Wolf: I like raspberry.

Fox: You mean fagberry.

Wolf: I mean SHUT UP BEFORE I CUT YOUR BUTT OFF AND PUT IT ON MY WALL AS A TROPHY!!

Dash: Ha! Fagberry! Original!

Leon: Oh shush your mom looks Frankenberry. (You know, the cereal with Frankenstein on it)

Ramirez: Next question.

Some Anonymous Guy

**To Wolf**: WHY DONT YOU KICK PANTHER OFF THE TEAM?!...do it

Wolf: You're absolutely right. Panther you're fired.

Panther: WHAT?! YOU CAN"T KICK PANTHER OFF THE TEAM!! PANTHER TALK NORMAL FOR NOW UNTIL I FORM A TEAM OF MY OWN!! STUPID BABIES!!

All: Whoa… he's talking normal now.

Panther: Yes I am talking normal now. Get used to it… babies.

Starfoxluver's Question

**To Falco**: Why are you so idiotic?

Falco: You know I have no idea myself.

Peppy: Because he touches himself at night.

Falco: PEPPY!! YOU WERE"NT SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT IN PUBLIC!!

All: WTH?!

Peppy: Falco I was just kidding…

Longsword 117's Question

**To Fox and Krystal:** What would you have done if you hated each other right when u each met?

Fox: I wouldn't have let Krystal on the team. Or saved her from Dinosaur Planet for that matter.

Krystal: I would have killed him for having that staff of mine.

Fox: Wait a second when I found the staff you left a message telling me about the staff like you _wanted_ some one to find it. I don't understand.

Krystal: (turns off iPod) Fox I wasn't listening could you repeat that?

Fox: (sigh) Fine. When I found the staff you left a message telling me about the staff like you _wanted_ some one to find it. I don't understand.

Falco: Wow you actually repeated exactly what you said.

Krystal: I'll tell you next chapter.

Fox: Why?

Krystal: Because I (inappropriate language)ing said so.

Fox: Okay… Geez.

Logan the Cydaguil's Question

**To Slippy**: Are you fat?

Slippy: NO!!

Panther: Yes he is. Just look at him. He looks like a big green balloon.

Falco: More like a blimp.

Fox: Fat tub of lard. Or a green Pillsbury Dough Boy.

Ramirez: Wow you guys really are mean. Oh yeah and what's a Cydaguil?

All: I dunno.

Ramirez: Oh well on to next question set.

Pillsberry's Questions

**To Fox**: How did James McCloud really die?

Wolf: He found out Fox was gay and he had a heart attack.

Fox: No he thought I was bisexual because he thought he heard me listening to Backstreet Boys and Nsync.

Falco: You have a poster of Justin Timberlake in your room. You even have Aaron Carter tighty whities!

All: WTH!?

Fox: At least I don't have a Barney bed set.

All: Double WTH?!

Falco: At least I don't wear Chris Brown pajamas.

All: Triple WTH?!

Fox: At least-

Ramirez: ALL RIGHT! We don't want to hear anymore of this disturbing info on either of you.

Wolf: I'm putting that conversation on You Tube.

All except Fox and Falco: Sweet!

Ramirez: (exasperated) Moving on…

**To Slippy: **Did you ever go to Jenny Craig?

Slippy: You mean Betty Crocker? Sure did.

Fox: Starfoxluver meant the exercise lady.

Slippy: What's exercise?

Falco: And there's your answer.

**To Wolf: **Do you have gay feelings for Fox?

Wolf: NO!!

Fox: I knew you were gay.

All: Oh, like you should be telling _anybody_ that.

Fox: I'm NOT GAY!!

Falco: Just a fag.

Fox: NO!! I'm NOT A FAG YOU ALL ARE!! You know what I quit, you morons can say whatever comes through about me I don't care anymore just leave me alone.

Wolf: Now you ARE acting like a pup.

Ramirez: leave him alone and let's move on.

**To Falco: **Are you a Barney lover?

Falco: Are you a knuckle sandwich lover?

Slippy: That sounds tasty. I'll have one.

Panther: (gives Slippy a knuckle sandwich)

Slippy: (cries) THAT HURT YOU BIG PURPLE MEANIE!!

Ramirez: You guys are SO STUPID! I'm ending here and now!

Goodbye until next chapter.

All (except Slippy because he's crying and Fox because he's a big faggot): Bye!

Ramirez: P.S. send up to three questions per reader next time (I can only do so much lol).


	6. Chapter 6: No t That Funny

Chapter 6

Ramirez: I'm back! And I got a load of questions.

Falco: OMG will this end already?!

Ramirez: When the readers unanimously say so.

Scarfox08's Questions

**To Fox: **Who do you love more Fera Phoenix or Krystal?

Fox: Oh yeah I forgot about Fera.

Fera: How could you forget about me?

Fox: Like the way I just did.

Wolf: He was busy chillin' with gay people.

Fox: NO I WAS NOT!!

Ramirez: Dude, calm down.

Fox: NO!! I'M NOT CALMING DOWN!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!

Falco: I think someone forgot their Prozac this morning.

Panther: You got that right.

Peppy: Moving on…

**To Fox:** Who would you rather do it with Katt Monroe, Fera Phoenix, Fay Spaniel, Miyu Lynx, Krystal, or all of them one after the other?

Fox: One after the other. Because I LIKE IT THAT WAY!!

All: WTH?

Katt: Me and Fox? NEVER!!

Panther: That's not true because you're gay!

Peppy: At least he doesn't touch himself at night!

Panther: Is that all you can say, baby-bunny?

Wolf: Panther that was gay.

Panther: Your gay.

Wolf: No, Your mom's gay.

Panther: No, Your team is gay.

Wolf: I'll kill you.

Ramirez: You didn't deny his accusation, Wolf.

Wolf: (punches Ramirez)

Ramirez: I'm the host! YOU CAN'T HIT THE HOST!!

Wolf: I just did.

Ramirez: Next time you do that, I'm gonna put you out for an entire chapter and you'll have to live in a toilet.

Wolf: I'm shakin' like a rock.

Krystal: Can WE MOVE ON??

**To Fox: **Who do you think is the hotter feline Miyu Lynx or Katt Monroe?

Fox: I think--

Falco: No one cares what you think because you're gay!

Fox: FOR THE LAST TIME I'M NOT GAY!!

Slippy: This is funny! Oh, can we get some Burger King?

Fox: NO!!

Slippy: (cries)

**To All: **If you had to choose between food or sex which would you choose?

Slippy: FOOD!!

Everyone else: Sex.

Falco: You see Slippy this is why you don't get any girls because you say retarded things like that.

Slippy: But I like food…

Wolf: You also like Fox as well.

Panther: Yeah fatty froggie.

Slippy: I'm not a frog I'm a toad.

Katt: What's the difference?

Peppy: Toads are bumpy and extremely ugly, while frogs are smooth and mildly ugly.

Fox: Peppy, that was racist…

Peppy: Yeah well, my brother got raped by a frog and a toad once.

All: WTH?!

Slippy: But what about rabbits? How come they got such big ears and big teeth?

Peppy: So we can hear people trash talking us and bite their faces off.

Slippy: (scared)

Ramirez: Okay next reader's questions.

Starfoxluver's Questions

**To Fox: **Why do you let the others tear you down? Man up!

Fox: I was already torn down. I've died my hair, nails, and eyelashes black and I've cut my wrists twice already.

Ramirez: Oh god I hate emo people.

The rest: yeah us too.

**To Ramirez: **Could you tell Krystal I said Hi?

Ramirez: Krystal, Starfoxluver said hi.

Krystal: Hi.

reiketsukan000's Questions

**To Wolf:** are you a pyromaniac?

Wolf: (holding flamethrower) Nope.

Ramirez: How did you get that flamethrower in--

Wolf: (burns Ramirez)

Ramirez: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Panther: HA HA HA HA! This is the greatest interview ever!

Ramirez: (rolling on ground) SOMEBODY GET THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER!!

(Slippy grabs the fire extinguisher and sprays in the wrong the direction. Namely, in Falco's face)

Falco: AUGH!! SLIPPY YOU FAT TURD TURN IT TOWARDS RAMIREZ!!

(Slippy turned it toward Ramirez and put the fire out.)

Ramirez: (panting) Thanks Slippy. Have a hamburger.

Slippy: YAY!! (eats hamburger)

Ramirez: Wolf?

Wolf: Yeah?

Ramirez: GET OUT!! GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!!

Wolf: Fine. (leaves)

Fox: Wow you actually kicked him out.

Krystal: You should be in a lot of pain. You were burned.

Ramirez: The host never gets permanently injured or killed.

I'm sorry people who had questions for Wolf. He'll answer them in chapter 7.

**To Fox:** Why the heck don't you ask Krystal out?...Oh yeah, you're gay!

Fox: FOR THE LAST TIME I'M NOT GAY!!

Falco: Said the pot to the kettle.

Leon: Lame!

Falco: I'll make you lame in a minute.

Fera: Moving on…

**To Slippy: **Have you ever gone into cardiac arrest?

Slippy: What's that?

Ramirez: Like a heart attack.

Slippy: Yes I had one between chapters 4 and 5.

Ramirez: That's why it took so long. I waited for him to leave the hospital.

Kitetheblade's Questions

**To Fox:** Do you have a crush on Wolf?

Fox: No.

Panther: Unfortunately Wolf's not here so we can't make this funny.

**To Leon: **Are you gay cuz no one knows...

Leon: Uh, no.

Falco: Yes you are.

Leon: At least I don't beat my meat!

Falco: At least I have meat to beat.

Panther: Gotcha, Leon.

Peppy: Nice one!

Steel Scale's Questions

**To Krystal:** If Fox hadn't shown up and saved you on Dinosaur Planet, do you think you would have lived?

Krystal: No, I don't think so.

Fox: Darn straight you would not have survived.

Krystal: (pimp slaps Fox) Shut it!

Fox: Ow!

**To Panther:** When did you start speaking in the third person? TELL ME!

Panther: I started when I found out that people thought that the name Panther was gay and I didn't want people to know that my name was Panther.

Falco: Lamest response in history.

Krystal: Besides people already knew your name was Panther.

Peppy: And we already knew you were bi.

Panther: You know what, stupid bunny? I'll make rabbit stew if you make one more crack like that.

Peppy: Panther I saw this fan fic where it was you, Wolf, and Falco in a threesome.

All: WTH?!

Falco: Wait a sec, why were you reading that?

Krystal: Yeah you like that stuff?

Peppy: No… Shut up!

Krystal and Falco: ??

Panther: (chases Peppy with butcher knife) Remember I said I was making bunny stew? HERE I COME!!

Ramirez: Just ignore them and let's move on.

**To Fox:** If Krystal didn't exist, who would you be dating?

Falco: His hand.

Leon: Yeah. _Palm_ina and _Fist_ina!

Fox: Actually, their moms. That's how they got here.

Falco and Leon: (hits Fox)

Fox: OW!!

Ramirez: I'm tired (its two A.M.). I'll stop here and post this up another day. Until Next Chapter.


	7. Chapter 7

Ramirez: I'm back! Sorry for the long wait.

Falco: All you have to say is "sorry"?

Ramirez: What else is there to say? Oh, yeah and I brought food.

Slippy: Yay!

Wolf: About time you got us something to eat.

Ramirez: You should be glad your still here after last chapter.

Falco: Yeah that was funny.

Ramirez: No it wasn't.

Falco: Yes it was.

Ramirez: SHUT UP!!

Falco: (shuts up)

Ramirez: Just eat your food so we can move on to questions.

One hour later…

Ramirez: All done?

Fox: Pretty much.

Slippy: I'm still hungry.

Panther: Stupid fat frog.

Ramirez: Okay back to the interview.

**Longsword 117's Questions**

**To fox:** Just ask Krystal to marry u already. I mean you do have the ring in your pocket and if you do it every one will stop saying you are gay.

Fox: Krystal, will you marry me? (pulls out ring)

Krystal: NO!!

Falco: Okay that proves it. Krystal's lesbian!

Krystal: NO I'M NOT!!

Falco: Then how come you didn't accept Fox's proposal?

Krystal: Because I love sexy men! (looks at Wolf)

Wolf: Darn straight.

Slippy: How is Fox not sexy?

All: WTH!!

Slippy: I mean one time I saw him topless and I thought that was hot.

Falco: Okay Slippy you're gay.

Fox: Slippy, you are no longer part of Star Fox.

Falco: Why, Fox? You can finally have a boyfriend.

Fox: For once Falco, SHUT UP!!

Ramirez: This is disturbing. MOVING ON NOW!!

**To Falco**: What is with the "fox is gay" remarks? You are making it sound like you are gay.

Falco: I only say so because it's true. And I'm not gay. I have Katt.

Katt: No you don't.

Falco: What about last night?

Katt: I was drunk.

**To Krystal:** What would you do if you found out that fox has his own mansion and has over 300 billion dollars?

Krystal: Instantly marry him.

Fox: I'm gonna try to get rich.

Falco: How about a male stripper?

Fox: Why so you can look at me?

Leon: Gotcha.

Ramirez: Ooh, burn!

Panther: Ha ha! Stupid bird got dogged by a homo!

Falco: Whatever.

**To Peppy:** Make a Dumb ray and fire it at Slippy.

**Logan the Cyndaquil's Questions**

Peppy: Okay. (makes a dumb ray and fires it at Slippy)

Slippy: Slippy stupid now!

Peppy: What's two plus two?

Slippy: (foams at mouth)

Ramirez: Peppy I think you put it on the "Drool Monkey" setting.

Peppy: Oops…

**To Wolf: **Challenge Fox to an Arwing vs. Wolfen battle.

Wolf: Let's fight Arwing vs. Wolfen!

Fox: You're on!

Wolf wins.

Wolf: You suck Fox.

Fox: Shut up I'm just tired.

**To Slippy:** Eat 10 Cheeseburgers.

Peppy: (Stuffs ten cheeseburgers in Slippy's mouth)

Slippy: (starts choking)

Peppy: (removes cheeseburgers)

**Starfoxluver's Question**

**To Fox and Krystal:** Did you know that you're married!?

Fox: Really!?

Krystal: I'm filing a divorce.

**Scarfox08's Question**

**To Fox:** Once again Fox who do you think is hotter Miyu Lynx or Katt Monroe?

Fox: Miyu.

Ramirez: I keep forgetting Fay and Miyu are here.

Miyu: Yeah we still exist. Thanks Fox.

Fox: Your welcome.

**CrazyKomitchii's Questions **

**To Fox:** If you where gay would you end up with Falco or Wolf? (if its Wolf that would be hot!)

Fox: I'm not answering that.

Falco: Hey I found Fox's diary!

Fox: GIVE ME THAT!!

Wolf: Read it.

Falco: August 1st, 2008. Wolf looks extremely hot with that eye patch. Panther's hot but he needs to stop talking in third person.

I think Krystal's in love with Katt and—

Fox: (hysteric) NONE OF THAT IS TRUE!! YOU'RE MAKING THAT UP!!

Ramirez: Besides that's Slippy's diary.

Slippy: (still foaming at mouth)

All: Okay…

**To Krystal:** Are you a lesbian 'cause you won't even go out with either Fox or Panther. Lesbian. Oh I hate you and Fox should have left you to rot.

Krystal: No I'm not lesbian. Fox is a loser who beats his meat and Panther is…Panther.

Falco: You do that, Fox?

Fox: NO!!

Falco: Whatever you say.

**To Falco:** will you give me your Arwing? Or an autograph?

Falco: How about an autograph? Here you go.

Falco Lombardi

**Final Fox's Questions**

**To Wolf, Fox, and Falco:** Who you hate the most out of anyone?

Wolf: Fox.

Fox: Wolf.

Falco: All homos like Fox.

Fox: I'm not gay.

Falco: Okay…

**Slippy:** Why in the heck was your voice was so dang high pitched during the Lylat Wars and Dinosaur Planet?

Slippy: (Dumb ray effects wear off) I was voiced by a girl then.

Falco: That's gay.

**Peppy:** How did James really die?

Peppy: He got into a drunken fight with Wolf's dad and lost.

Wolf: Yeah my dad's still doing time for that.

Fox: I hate your dad for that.

**Panther:** How come you're such a retard?

Panther: I'm not a retard just self-centered.

**ShadowFox0324's** **Question**

**To Fox:** Do you believe all your problems here can be solved with a Gatling gun?

Fox: Yes.

Ramirez: Fortunately we don't allow deadly weapons.

Fox: No fair…

**Captain Obvious' Question**

**To Fox and Wolf:** Who's the female in your relationship?

Fox: Krystal.

Krystal: NO!!

Fox: Aw…

Wolf: Fox's mom.

Fox: I'll kill you.

Wolf: Come on then you pansy. (Starts fighting Fox)

Ramirez okay I'm stopping here. If I didn't answer your questions they're in the make-up chapters. Which are chapters 8 and 9. So wait until chapter 10 to send me more questions. And thanks for the reviews this makes me feel better.


	8. Chapter 8

Ramirez: Woo- hoo! I'm back!

Wolf: It's been _months_. What the HELL were you _doing_?!

Fox: Your mom.

Wolf: At least I have a mom.

Fox: Take that back, you son of a …

Ramirez: OKAY, let's just get to the questions. They won't be in order but I'll get as many as I can.

**Shadow0324's Questions**

**To All:** How do you hold weapons if you have no thumbs?!

Falco: I know I have thumbs.

Wolf: Unlike Mr. Freak over here.

Fox: Shut up Wolf, I have thumbs too.

**To Falco and Katt: **How the f$# do you 2 have a kid?

Falco: It's called _sex_, ever heard?

Katt: Besides, it doesn't look right a bird and cat doing _that_. I eat birds.

Falco: (scarred for life)

Fox: What do you mean by eat?

Ramirez: This isn't an M-rated story, so watch the content.

Fox: F%$# you.

Ramirez: How about I do that to your mom?

Fox: My mom's dead.

Ramirez: Yeah she couldn't handle being away from me and my-

Slippy: Sausage?

Ramirez: Yeah, _sausage_.

**To Wolf:** What happened to your eye?

Wolf: Me and Panther was playing "Rock, Paper, Scratches" and he picked "scratches".

Panther: That was a nice trip to the hospital. That nurse was so fine…

Wolf: This eye patch cost me five thousand dollars. Which you owe me.

Panther: Panther owes you a hairball. And a beating.

Ramirez: You two are stupid.

**To Panther: **Do you flirt a lot because you are over compensating?

Panther: Uh, no.

Falco: Uh, yes.

Panther: NO.

Falco: YES.

Panther: NO!!!

Falco: YES!!!

**Vinny Martello's Question**

**To Wolf: **Is Rosie O'Donnel your wife?

Wolf: That's not funny.

Fox: Yes it is.

Wolf: Let's don't get started on Mr. Backstreet Boy.

Fox: Let's don't get started on Mr. I Love Fox's Butt.

Wolf: You smell like a butt.

Fox: You smell like a donkey butt.

Falco: You both smell like George Bush's butt.

Ramirez: No political opinions please, Falco.

**Mini Creek36's Question**

**To Fox: **If you could kill anyone, who would it be?

Fox: Wolf.

Falco: You would smother him with kisses to death.

Fox: I can't see anyone kissing Wolf.

Leon: Except you.

Wolf: I don't like gay foxes. Especially Tails from Sonic the Hedgehog.

Ramirez: Chill out, he's not gay. He's just trying to figure out which way he wants to go.

Krystal: You mean gay or straight?

Ramirez: No I mean bisexual or trisexual.

Falco: Trisexual.

Ramirez: Girls, boys, and animals.

Katt: Weird.

**Starfoxluvr's Question**

**To Leon: **If you were asked to be in a sitcom, would you?

Leon: Yeah. I would of got that part for "Friends", if it wasn't "no reptiles allowed."

Falco: Leon, you couldn't even have got on Animal Planet. Let alone Discovery Channel.

Wolf: He's right.

Leon: You guys made my hitlist.

**Kupo?'s Question**

**To Wolf:** Cut off Fox's balls, feed them to Slippy, and put Slippy in an incinerator…Fox won't need them.

Wolf: Sweet. (Prepares to cut Fox's balls)

Fox: NO!!!

Wolf: C'mere Foxie.

Falco: Dude that was gay.

Panther: EXTREMELY GAY.

Falco: I bet he was waiting to see Fox's crotch.

Peppy: He wants to see if they'll fit inside his mouth.

Ramirez: Peppy, Falco, you guys are sick.

Krystal: Notice they are the ones who only say that.

Ramirez: Yeah and Wolf sit down. Do that when the interview's over.

Fox: Wait, this thing does have an ending point?

Ramirez: That's for the readers to decide.

Fox: NOOOOOO!!!!

**Shadow0324's Questions**

**To Anyone: **I'll pay anyone 600 billion credits to kill Panther. 

Leon: Let's see the money first.

Falco: Screw that, I wanted to kill Panther since I first met him.

Panther: Let's go, parrot fag.

Fox: I want a piece of him, too, Falco.

Wolf: Holy sweet holy you're gay.

Ramirez: That's not what he meant.

Wolf: You takin' up for a fag?

Katt: Fag lover.

Ramirez: Katt, don't forget what happened when you were talking stuff back in 2005.

Katt: You took away my catnip.

Ramirez: You deserved it. You scratched my face.

Krystal: Next Question.

**To Fox: **What was your favorite weapon in Assault?

Fox: The Gatling Gun.

**To Fox: **If you're able to control fire like you can in the Super Smash Bros. series why haven't you burned anyone yet? *Cough Panther Cough*

Fox: Cause Ramirez won't let me.

Ramirez: Damn straight.

Falco: You cussed. Ooh Ramirez is cussing!

Ramirez: Shut up man!

Falco: RAMIREZ CUSSED SOMEBODY CALL HIS MOM!!!

Ramirez: SHUT UP! She'll take away my Xbox 360 again!

Krystal: Idiots.

Falco: Shut your British wannabe self up. (in British accent) You want a spot of tea? London is so great! Tea time!

Krystal: (punches Falco)

Falco: (Knocked out)

**Lucera Wolfox's Questions **

**To Wolf and Fox: **How did you two meet?

Falco: The gay club down the street.

Slippy: Which one? Fags 4ever or Best Buddies?

Everyone: (Silence)

Panther: HA! Fatty Froggie is fatty fag froggie.

Wolf: I met him at the academy.

Fox: You bullied me!

Wolf: That's because you were lame.

Fox: At least I get girls.

Wolf: What girls? Clay Aiken? C'mon that's a dude…

Leon: I remember when Wolf gave Fox a swirly.

Panther: Swirly sound funny.

Falco: Talk in regular English, dipstick.

**To Wolf: **Do you hate Falco because he loves Fox? Are you jealous?

Wolf: WTH.

Fox: You're not answering the question.

Wolf: No. To both questions.

Peppy: So you like feathered males? Wow Wolf you're exotic.

Wolf: NO!

Falco: Aww, you know you like birds of prey. You like them hunting you?

Wolf: NO!! I LIKE MY WOMEN!! I WANT FEMALES!!

Ramirez: I think he got the point across. Next Question.

Krystal: Agreed.

**To Fox: **Do you think Wolf is sexy?

Fox: NO.

Falco: Yeah you do.

Fox: NO.

Katt: Then why do you have a pinup picture of Wolf shirtless?

Wolf: WTH?!

Fox: No I don't. That's Slippy's.

Slippy: No mine has Wolf shirtless _and_ pantsless.

Fox and Wolf: WTH?!

Panther: Fatty froggie fag.

Fara: To be honest, Wolf is kinda hot.

Krystal: Yeah he is.

Fox: What about me?

Krystal: You're lukewarm.

Panther: Panther?

Fara: Hot but I think you're bisexual.

Falco: Ha! Stupid hairball spitting fag is on both sides of the tracks!

**To Falco: **Falco I f*%$#ing hate you! You hear that? I HATE YOU! You suck and you are so gay but you can't have Fox…he is so f&%$ing sexy! You don't deserve him! If I can I'm going to kill you right now!

Falco: (Quiet)

Bill Grey: Wow dude, you just got burned like Barbecue Sunday.

Fox: Bill, you're here?

Bill: Yeah I got here back in chapter 3, dude.

Wolf: Then how come you didn't say anything?

Bill: I slept.

**Yamagata's Questions **

**To Katt:** Do you gamble?

Katt: Yeah.

**To Krystal: **Do you like cold showers?

Krystal: No I like hot showers. Keeps me warm.

Falco: (mocking tone) No I like hot showers. Keeps me-

Krystal: (Smacks falco)

Falco: OW!

Krystal: Bit-

Ramirez: Watch that mouth, Krystal.

Bill: Weird, dude.

**To Falco:** Are you the best on the team?

Falco: You know it.

Fox: That it's wrong.

Krystal: Yeah Falco. That's why it's called Star Fox not Star Falco.

Slippy: Star Falco sounds cool.

Falco: You can't join because you're gay like Foxie.

Fox: That's right- hey, wait, what?

Wolf: He admitted it. FOX LIKES BOYS!

Fox: NO I DON'T. YOU SUCK!!!

Ramirez: Chill out guys.

Bill: Yeah, dudes. Like chill out. It's all good. Be righteous.

Panther: Hippie doggie!

Peppy: What is up with you and the nicknames? How about I call you ugly catty?

Panther: That nonsense!

Peppy: At least I can talk in complete sentences.

Falco: At least your mom is good in bed.

**Joe99's Question**

**To Fox: **What do you do when you're not on a mission?

Fox: Hang out with my girl Krystal.

Krystal: In his dreams.

Fox: I also play video games. Like Bully.

Wolf: You like to kiss boys on that game.

Fox: I only do it because it's funny.

Bill: But dude that's gay.

Slippy: I always thought it was hot.

Bill: Dude you're not natural.

**Sketch 'itch's Questions**

**To Wolf: **How did you make you're appearance in Brawl? Did you like beg hardcore to the makers just because Fox and Falco were there?

Wolf: I didn't beg hardcore, the makers asked me if I wanted to continuously beat Fox and Falco in a fighting game and I said yes.

Fox: You could never beat me.

Falco: Yeah me too, Wolf.

Wolf: Let's test that theory.

(They fight, Fox loses and Falco gets kicked in the nuts)

Wolf: Wussies.

Bill: Dude that was harsh.

Wolf: Yeah so what?

Leon: I wanna fight annoying bird!

Falco: Next chapter.

Leon: Fine.

**To Fox: **It's a SSBB question again, how come the makers hate your guts? It seems they like destroying your ships for some reason. (looks at Great Fox and Arwing totally wrecked and pwned)

Fox: I don't know. I wonder that too.

Wolf: No one likes like Fox.

Ramirez: I do. No homo.

Fox: Thanks dude.

Bill: Yeah that's totally righteous. Gnarly.

Panther: Hippie doggie.

Peppy: Shut up Panther.

Panther: Funny bunny.

Peppy: That's gay.

**To Bill Grey: **Do the makers of Starfox hate you? You're not mentioned in _Adventures_ or _Assault_ And have short missions and scenes in _Command _with no personal ending while all other characters have their own personal whatsoever…can you tell me why?

Bill: It's because they're not righteous.

Falco: I hate hippies.

Bill: Don't be like that bro. I'm not a hippie. I like to surf. Cowabunga.

Panther: surfie doggie.

Ramirez: Morons and weirdos. All of you. Well that's it. Next chapter comes at a more reasonable date.

Wolf: I hope so.

Ramirez: SHUT UP!


	9. Chapter 9

Ramirez: Yep, I'm back to this again.

Wolf: Last chapter you said this was coming at a more reasonable date. It's been THREE YEARS. Where were you?

Fox: Besides, no one cares anymore.

Ramirez: Well, that's what you guys think. I bet someone cares.

Krystal: Don't you think this is too old?

Falco: Aren't you too old?

Krystal: (slaps Falco)

Falco: OW!

Ramirez: Okay guys and gals, let's get back to where we left off. I might have skipped a few, so if I did, I'm sorry.

**Elliomartino's Question**

**To Wolf: You are awesome on so many levels but I hate having to shoot you down as Fox. Can you kick Fox in the nuts for me?**

Wolf: Heck yeah, I'll do that.

Fox: What? Get away from me! (Runs from Wolf)

Panther: Panther thinks Wolf is a tool.

Peppy: He pretty much is one since he always does what someone else says.

Falco: Hey, Wolf? Go jump off a cliff.

Wolf: (kicking Fox in the nuts) You're next, bird brain.

Krystal: Next question, please?

**Kitmaro's Questions**

**To Krystal: What's up with those tail rings and why do you have them?**

Krystal: Well, I-

Falco: Don't really care so let's move on.

Bill: Let her finish, dude.

Leon: Silence, hippie.

Bill: Chill, man. It's all cool here.

Krystal: Ahem. As I was saying, I-

Falco: No one cares, Krystal, don't you get it? We didn't care about your past in any of the games, much less your hideous fashion.

Peppy: Why did you say that?

Fox: Yeah, Falco, you're being a prick right now.

Falco: Fox, you call me another name and I'll show everyone those pictures from that 2009 Christmas party we had at Katt's house.

Fox: YOU. WOULDN'T.

Falco: (whips out pictures)

Fox: NO! (tries to take pictures from Falco)

Krystal: I'll answer this while they're both preoccupied. I mostly wear them as a fashion statement. Also, they keep my tail from being too bushy.

**To Wolf: How did you lose your eye?**

Wolf: 'Cause Panther's a pointy prick.

Panther: Wolfie is mad because Panther slashed him with my claws in a fair game.

Wolf: Rock, Paper, Scratches isn't a fair game, doofus.

Panther: Panther thinks Wolfie's a doofus.

Peppy: Calling him "Wolfie" is kind of gay.

Fox: You're against gays, Peppy?

Peppy: What? I didn't say that.

Falco: Fox is taking up for gays? Haha, faggot.

Ramirez: Speaking of which, I got a lot of messages from people calling me names because I used a lot of gay jokes. Instead of calling me names, people, why don't you just give me suggestions so I can use them? Also, I'm not anti-gay, I just find the jokes funny.

Katt: Yeah, you losers completely filled up his inbox with hate mail.

**To Fox: Why didn't you keep Krystal's staff?**

Fox: Actually, Krystal has it.

Krystal: I have it in my quarters on the Great Fox.

Falco: She faps to it all night.

Krystal: Falco, seriously, what is your problem?

Leon: You, obviously.

Krystal: bite yourself, Leon.

**VampireAngel's Question (sort of)**

**To Panther: YOU SUCK! OKAY! NO ONE LIKES YOU! I F****G HATE YOU BECAUSE YOU SUCK S**** YOU ARE A B**** Panther A BIG B****!**

Falco: Dang that was harsh.

Panther: (remaining silent)

Fox: Wow, he's not saying anything.

Wolf: Nah, he's just calming himself from going on a rampage from those insults.

Slippy: LOLZ.

**SkullFox's Questions**

**To Fox: What's the deal with the Mohawk? Seriously, grow some hair, man…**

Fox: Hey, I like my Mohawk!

Falco: So does Elton John.

Fox: So does your mom.

Falco: So does Clay Aiken.

Fox: So does Ricky Martin. WAIT! That's not what I meant…

Wolf: So you do like boys.

Fox: No I don't!

Falco: Yeah, you do. You're totally a homo.

Ramirez: Guys come on, knock it off.

Leon: I think you're gay too, Ramirez.

Ramirez: First, screw you, Leon. Second, how can you talk? Your pants are probably the tightest of anyone in here.

Peppy: Moving on…

**To Wolf: You're an a**… but, I don't think you're gay?**

Wolf: Of course I'm not gay.

Peppy: But you are an a**.

Wolf: And you're a big-toothed, big eared, prick.

Peppy: Still better than being an a**hole.

Falco: You know all about buttholes, don't you?

Peppy: I knew about your mom's.

Falco: Watch it, carrot brain, or I'll put a slug in your head.

Fox: Wow, that was an awkward statement.

Ramirez: Try to keep it clean, Fox.

Krystal: Like anything on here is actually clean.

Falco: You obviously aren't. I heard you were "pleasing" Wolf at this year's Christmas party.

Katt: Someone else besides me knew about this?

Fox: (heartbroken) KRYSTAL? HOW COULD YOU?

Wolf: It's not like you two were an item, pup.

Fox: We're through, Krystal. I'm never talking to you again!

Falco: Fox, you're a faggot, anyway. Go listen to some Justin Beiber or the Jonas Brothers.

Leon: Of course _you_ know about those two.

Peppy: and of course _you_ know about Chippendales.

**To Panther: SO F****G GAY… GAYNESS TO THE 5****TH**** POWER OF INFINITY AND I DON'T THINK NUMBERS EVEN GO THAT HIGH!**

Panther: Panther no homosexual, though Panther finds the love passion in both male and female.

Wolf: So, you're a bisexual faggot?

Falco: What a cupcake.

Peppy: Figures.

Katt: That's kind of hot.

Fox: (still heartbroken) who cares?

Ramirez: I figured you went both ways. There was no way you were 100% straight.

**Krystal: Are All Cerinians as hot as you?**

Krystal: I'm the hottest, so no.

Falco: The ugliest, too.

Krystal: (slaps Falco)

Fox: She's also the b****iest, too.

Slippy: Aw, come on, Fox don't say that…

Fox: Screw this. I'm leaving.

Ramirez: You can't leave, dummy.

**Everyone (except Falco): Would someone PLEASE kick that f***in' bird in the head?**

(Everyone looks at Falco)

Falco: (sweats) Uh, guys?

(Everyone chases Falco)

Falco: GODDA-

Ramirez: I think I'll stop here for now. It's a New year, so let's have a new set of chapters! Until Next time!


End file.
